September summary
The first days of autumn + an assortment of thoughts, feelings, vibes, and activities
Dear friends and family,
Happy fourth of October! (Pretend it’s still September). Welcome back, once again. As always, I’m so grateful for any amount of time and attention you devote to this little space.
I’m sending this update from Starigrad, on the island of Hvar in Croatia where I’ve joined my parents and some family friends. I hadn’t planned on coming but the opportunity presented itself last minute. Initially, I had felt a little anxious about work and the routine stuff and wasn’t sure if I should join, but then I remembered that, metaphorically speaking, life is about going for ice cream on a Sunday evening, not about going to the supermarket (a revelation I’d had in the supermarket two days earlier when I nearly didn’t go for ice cream because I was tired from the supermarket). And as my dad wonderfully put it, “lastminute.com trips are the best.” More on this in the October edition.
Anyway, back to September. I felt so many shades of blue when I got back from Thailand: the post-holiday blues, a pang of September homesickness — missing the parents, home, and jacaranda season once again — mixed with the first seasonal shock of waking up those first few days back to find that it was soooo much darker than it had been at that same time before I left.
I was also really dreading going back to the office. But as I cycled towards the station on my first morning back, I passed the older man who stands on the street corner each morning with his sign that says “Stop genocide”— a one-man protest. I had seen him every day before I went on holiday (he’s stood there every morning for months), and then forgot about him while I was away. He smiled and made a peace sign, and said “fijne dag” like he does to everyone who cycles past. It really brightened my day and reminded me that life continues in small and unassuming ways.
The past two years it’s felt like summer has continued until about the 15th of October. None of that this year. We’ve skipped late summer and slipped straight into chilly, chilly autumn. I need to remind myself that we’ve been blessed with so much sunshine this year, so I really can’t complain.
Yet despite the pretty autumn colours, I always find this time of year hard. The darker days and increasingly weaker sunlight throw me off kilter, and come the first of September, I always find myself in a weird panic that there are only two weeks left of the year. Which isn’t true of course, but also doesn’t feel far off. (Twelve weeks to Christmas, people).
For those in the northern hemisphere, I’ve found a really great Instagram account: Katie Maciver. Her thing is “Staying happy this season ❄️🍁” and preventing seasonal depression (SAD). Her content is full of reminders to establish those habits now (like movement and prioritising daylight) to help scaffold your mental health for when the days really do get properly cold and dark.
Mini highlights
🍦I had my last ice cream of the season from the iconic and award-winning Roberto Gelato in Utrecht. Melon and white chocolate. I’m publicly declaring my goal of trying every one of their flavours next ice cream season. This will require commitment and starting early!
I went for a gorgeous, blustery beach walk with my friend Hannah one evening after work last week. Over the past couple of years (since my beach baby bestie Shell Craig left the Netherlands) I’ve had a tendency to forget that it is a coastal country. It was such a lovely change of scenery and so easy to tack onto the end of a work day in Leiden. The beach was littered with vivid blue jelly fish, and the sand turned gold as the sun slipped behind the horizon and into the sea.
I had so much fun at my friend Jorden’s karaoke party. ✨ There’s nothing like a power ballad to get a group of girls going.
I’ve also eaten lots of delicious figs. Fig season is short and oh so sweet.
I was deeply inspired by two women this month:
First, there was Margreet, a woman in her 80s, with beautifully pedicured toenails, who was in my reformer pilates class a couple of Saturday’s ago. The studio was at the top of a steep flight of stairs and when I first saw her at the bottom with her white cane I thought she must be lost. But up she came and absolutely smashed the class. Such an incredible way to maintain strength and mobility. Then the cherry on top was that her friend (with a broken arm) was waiting for her right outside the door of the gym with two happy, yappy dogs who were so delighted to see Margreet. What an inspiring way to age.
Next there is my former (as of this week) colleague, Francesca, who, at the the age of 42 has decided to leave her job to pursue a Bachelors degree in nutrition and dietetics. She is proof that it’s never too late to make a change or try something new.
Ocean Vuong at the International Literature Festival Utrecht
Erin and I went to see Ocean Vuong speak at the International Literature Festival Utrecht.
I adored his first novel, On Earth We’re briefly Gorgeous, when I read it two years ago. It isn’t an easy read but is so beautiful and deeply affecting. It explores heavy themes, such as immigrant memory and intergenerational trauma, painting a vivid picture of the hardships of life as first generation Vietnamese American immigrants converging with the struggles of working class America and the opioid crisis. A poet first, he blends prose and poetry with the most beautiful, enduring metaphor of the intergenerational migration of monarch butterflies, which runs through the book. I folded down so many pages. As you can probably tell, I really rate this book. (I know I’ve used the word “beautiful” twice in this paragraph but it feels like the most fitting word).
He gave a lecture about the politics of style in writing and how the sentence too, can be a form of disobedience. In it, he talked about how writers are regularly marginalised, yet poetry and literary devices are often used and coopted by those in power to persuade the populace.
And on the infamous topic of “Making America great again”, he described how over the past 10-ish years he’s asked scores of people of all ages and walks of life when America was great for them. Across ages and backgrounds the common theme was that America was great in the years before people became teenagers. He said that “America’s supremacy is dependent on the mythology of a pristine and innocent boyhood” — which I found fascinating. He added that “America doesn’t have any redeeming folklore for the ill and the poor”. The American dream doesn’t allow it.
🇳🇱💡 (As a side note, I discovered ILFU properly last year. It draws so many incredible best selling international authors, from Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie, to Deborah Levy and Elizabeth Strout).
Possession
I finished reading Possession by A.S. Byatt, which my mum had recommended a few times. It’s a literary mystery in which two modern-day scholars (modern in the 1980s, that is) uncover a secret love affair between two fictional Victorian poets through a series of hidden writings and letters. On their journey to solve the puzzle, their relationship, too, evolves.
This quote by Roland, the protagonist sums it up perfectly “Finding themselves in a plot, they might suppose it appropriate to behave as though it was that sort of plot. And that would be to compromise some kind of integrity they had set out with.”
The book follows a dual timeline with lots of sensual imagery, fairytales, intertextuality, and allusions to mythology — giving it an incredibly dreamlike quality. A lot of the book is written in poems and letters (a lot in italics), with very dense Victorian sentence structures. At first it felt like a really big commitment of time and effort but I got completely absorbed. It was honestly a really good exercise in concentration and delayed gratification — and also did really good things for my vocabulary (long may it last!). A definite 5/5 * read.
Things I’ve devoured this month (non-food edition)
Feel Better Live More Letting go of perfection: the power of process, presence & planning with Eliud Kipchoge - “Life is marathon and marathon is life”. This was one of my favourite things I listened to this month! Eliud Kipchoge is so gentle and softly spoken and I was so moved listening to him. He spoke about humility, discipline, and running with the values of humanity. This was one of many bits that stood out to me, that whether you achieve the goal or not in some ways doesn’t matter as the goal is what helps you to be disciplined.
Catch up on the Flotilla - with Karen Moynihan the Irish co-ordinator of the Global Samud Flotilla. This was a really enlightening episode explaining the mission and organisation of the Freedom Flotilla who were sailing to break the siege and deliver vital aid in Gaza. At this point in time, when the situation feels so hopeless and sickening, this was a really powerful listen about the power the power that civilians can have in the face of injustice.
** Speaking of which, for anyone in the Netherlands that doesn’t know yet, there’s another red line protest in Amsterdam tomorrow, on Sunday 5 October. You can find the info here. I can’t make it this time unfortunately but definitely there in spirit.
Critics at Large | The New Yorker - What’s cooking? - I really enjoyed this episode about home cooking and contemporary cookbook culture.
All of the Shameless episodes have been sooo good recently!! Here are some very interesting / entertaining recent faves:
To end, here are some quotes from ancient Roman stoic philosophers (kind of random, I know, but I liked them) that have caught my attention in the last few days.
“Your days are numbered. Throw open the windows of your soul to the sun. If you don’t, the sun will set—and you with it.” - Marcus Aurelius
“Life is long if you know how to use it.” - Seneca
Thank you for reading!
If anything here caught your eye or made you think, I’d love to hear from you—drop me a line anytime. And let me know if there’s anything you think I should check out!
May your next month be filled with small joys,
Jen 🤍